Personal Expectations

With respect to identity politics and doing what one wants to do: When do I really do what I want versus what I think I want? These distinctions are important to me recently because I seem to have fallen into an old trap--doing what others expect from me as a mother, woman, teacher, etc. This day, March 2, 2007, I want to run away and be free from all labels. I want to dance, sing, and maybe even doodle without having to answer to anyone. Yet no matter what I'm doing now, by two I must be somewhere to pick up a grandchild. He's a love and not the source of my feeling stifled, but I did not sign up for being a stay at home Grannie.

It seems as if no matter where I land--here, Chicago, Detroit, or California someone finds me and I'm expected to be or do something. It seems as if old roles are hard to drop totally.