Sunday, April 12, 2015

Death and Music as a Part of Living

On April 1, 2015, one of my best friends passed over. That is a lovely euphemism for "died." In our Western Culture we don't like to think or talk about the one thing that happens to all of us. I think that is one of the things I'd like to write about here because my friend, Bevann Garnes and I spoke of dying often. The subject came up, most likely because of our ages. More often than not, however, the subject of dying came up because of our thoughts and beliefs and spirituality. My lovely and loving friend was deeply spiritual but she allowed for those of us who waver on the concept of absolute belief in the hereafter. The reason I give is that in fact belief is based on accepting as fact that which we cannot prove with certainty.

So now I turn to look at those moments I spent with Bevann so as to explore life and death.

Whenever someone I love or look up to passes on, I turn to music. I usually play music I shared with the person who is no longer here. I feel better because music has always been important to me. I don't carry the LPs or 45s or CDs all with me because I lost so many in my many moves.

So before Bevann died I visited her and mentioned the lead singer or front man for Queen. Well she knew the group when they were newly out. I just discovered them and Freddie. I found his showmanship so refreshing from the old guys who just stood and sang. Even my first favorite Perry Como was from a long line of ballad singers who played up the stiff dude singing.

While Bevann's health began to deteriorate, I had the chance to introduce her to Freddie's solo work and most especially his Barcelona with Monserrat Caballe. I'd never heard of her but when she sang on Freddie's rock opera both Bevann and me just fell in love with the music. It was perfect for us two old gals. We even missed a turn to get to Bevann's doctor's treatment center. 

While we both enjoyed the album, we had other music in common. Long ago before Bevann became ill she walked to a jazz group playing at one of my son's fatherhood conferences. She sang with the group and showed her singing background.  Of course, she was a teacher and counselor for one of the local tribes in AZ. She took in a child for two years hoping to give him a home and a lesson in boundaries.
Bevann was wonderful. There were few topics on which we couldn't converse. Like me she was opinionated she just was a milder version. Now that she's gone, I'll have to prompt myself to be effective in sotto voce.

I think through memories and music I'll keep Bevann in my heart. I know that certain old Puerto Rican songs bring my Mom and Dad to me along with cousins and Aunts and Uncles who are no longer with us. Music was at the beach, in our homes and in our friends' homes so I hope that people will use music as they heal from the loss of anyone who was close to them as they travel to the other side of death.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

God's Little Gifts

Today I has received many little surprises. It looks like I am happier and more open and therefore I am receiving many gifts from my children and my friends.
I am blessed with a very generous son and after meeting him this afternoon I decided to treat myself to a Starbucks coffee. When I was at the window I met the young man who serve me and his name is Elijah. For some reason there was a mistake with my Starbucks card and I got a free coffee and banana nut bread.

So between my son's hugs and kisses and the free coffee and banana nut bread, I felt very happy and in good spirits. So on my way home I played an old CD by Mel Torme. I was a happy gal all the way home.

Elijah was a sweet surprise because during the brief conversation at the Starbucks window we made a deal.  He'll learn to compose stories a day I am to learn to compose music.  It so happens that I love music.

Whether or not I learn to compose,  I am enchanted with the idea from a most perfect stranger.

Tuesday, October 07, 2014

Looking Back and . . . . . . . .

I have reached out to friends through the usual social media and emails because I need to do something to shift the predictability of my life. I may proceed with my thoughts of moving to Tucson, but as a wise friend told me; I'd better be certain I am not acting frivolously. What can I do there that I can't do here? Will people be as busy with their own lives there as my folks have been busy with theirs here?

So I will take my time with that venture. In the meantime, I'll continue reading and restart the writings I've long left undone.

Interestingly, a colleague is working on a paper and I shared some material that may or may not be useful to him. However, I've started rethinking what my own project will be.

Somehow I don't feel as compelled to catch up and compete with others as before. I've accepted my abilities and do not feel impelled to do things out of my sphere of interest and abilities. I suppose this is a measure of some growth.

Now on to my task for today and I'll see what I get done.

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Changes in the Air

Today I filled out the health care directives forms that the medical group wanted me to take care of. The thought of dying is not pleasant except for the fact that I won;t feel anything. Being human requires a certain amount of feeling, caring, concern for others, sometimes even empathizing too much. So that one person's pain blends into your own.

Now that I've taken the steps I have taken, I feel less burdened. I am also planning to move to a place where I still have friends and can enjoy their company as well as the surroundings of the area. No longer will I tie myself to other people's needs over my own.

I'm only curious about how long it'll take me to execute my plans. Will be throwing away lots of things soon.

After I end this bit of writing, I think I'll read myself to sleep. It is getting late. LOL  Before now I'd stay up until 2 a.m. Now I really watch to get my "beauty" sleep.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

New Trials and Opportunities for Growth

Some people jump to conclusions and in the process create sorrow for themselves and for others.

I will be specific at another time. However,  practicing some steps from religious training,  I am growing through the event. I find that even when people are related to one, one need not retaliate or create more drama in each of our lives.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Things Astronomical

I love what near telescopes show us about the Universe. See story below.

Jackpot! NASA's Kepler telescope finds 'mother lode' of 715 planets http://www.latimes.com/science/sciencenow/la-sci-sn-kepler-discovers-planets-confirmed-nasa-20140226,0,2151798.story#axzz2uJGFWb97

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

New Vision Life

Two days ago I under went my first cataract surgery.  I am thrilled with the result. I cannot tout my excellent experience and outcome sufficiently.  Things I see with my left eye are clearer brighter and this makes me think.

How much of our physical vision influences our view of life, culture,  or politics?