Getting Focused

I think I suffer from adult onset of ADD. However, since I need to accomplish a few things in my life before I leave for another experience, I'm making lists again. I'll have to do more than chronicle the less than exciting or interesting things I do. For example, how I almost got clobbered by my mattress when I undertook flipping it to another side--this is good for one chuckle or two but it was a bit scary at the time. I keep forgetting how much I've shrunk. I never really thought of myself as short though in my prime I was 4'11 3/4" tall. I must have gotten down to 4'9" and so it goes. Aging certainly has its challenges. In a lifetime of challenges, this is nothing new to me.

Part of my focus is on my health. Another is writing my biography for my family. I need to include stories that my son has mangled in his version of things. Having studied a little psychology and some reader response theory, I'm aware of the ways people in the same room, witnessing the same events can come away with very different understanding of the events they witnessed.

I suppose I do not want my remembrances of Mom and Dad's stories twisted. Plus I have some sweet memories of them from long before I grew up and had children. Those were such special moments that I know they helped me with my character and psychological nature.

Although it sometimes creeps in to my mind, I try to avoid my Mom's negativity. My Dad did not look at the world quite as negatively as Mom and he certainly was more calm. He hoped I could maintain that calmness which he claimed was a gift from the Rodriguez side of his family.

I'll focus on that one positive quality as I begin to write my memoirs.

Cheers!!

A New Year's Start

2012 began with my family near me and many happy times. Soon a mere week, I came down with either a neurological or orthopedic disorder which leaves me in great pain. Nonetheless, I have begun an orderly writing project--ME or my biography.

Things are at the very beginning but I have plotted the organization. I have several short snippets of writing to place under the various categories, and I've actually begun to write an introduction of sorts.

When next I write in this blog, I'll have more accomplished despite my pains.

The political scene is terrible. But what can be done? I'm not ruler of the universe. :) Who knows if a lot of prayers, good wishes for our future and other positive thinking can help humans to be selfless and aware of helping one another.

Times Are Changing---continued

The tile of this entry refers to a line in Godfather II, Michael Corleone had spent time with his mother asking if one could lose his family. She says no because family will always be family. His response is that he notes that times are changing. In fact, life between the 40s and 60s did have many volatile changes. Many things about life, families, and politics underwent a great change. Like the Corlenoe's other families are not living in the places where they grew up and where they were comfortable. Families are splintered by location, time, and sometimes ill will toward one another in the original family group. Other changes have occurred in the way we use the money we earn. The enticement of advertisements have led many of us down a path to economic ruin.



As I mentioned above, money and the need to earn it has sabotaged the concept of united families. So we move from our origins. Many times this turns out to be a great thing. After all there is something in the human species that leads it to enjoy travel, meeting new people, and learning about new music, foods, and fashions.  Families will change because things and people are changing. The way of life in our country is changing, too. 

There is nothing inherently wrong with change. Change is in fact a part of life. The thing we must consider is how many of us have been manipulated not only by advertisements but the system that tells us to go to school and then get a good job. However, currently there are no jobs for many people. 


I've always thought that not all of us want to go to college. Many of us are meant to be artists, architects, or even long shore men/women. Worse, many of the jobs that the United States used to have available for new graduates are gone. The USAmerican corporations that have such great support from our government are shipping jobs to places where they do not have to provide a living wage to their workers. 


I'm not a well renowned economist, but it did not pass by me that jobs I held as a full time position frequently were split so two would work but get no benefits. Others I knew noticed it too. I then went for a higher degree but alas I chose the wrong path. I'm happy to have earned my degree but I went for it too late.  So here we are in a country that made things to a country that exports jobs overseas and ignores the needs of its citizenry to have jobs available once they finish school.


The worst part of the changes is that the government expect people with low incomes to spend money on things they do not need so they can meet the expectations of their children who are glued to the colorful and fun filled commercials aimed at children. Perhaps someone can think of a way to have the economy depend less on the amount of money its citizens spend. Perhaps we should have goods and services other people want. Sadly we are not making sufficient things here within the borders of the United States. Those jobs are in Mexico, China, Vietnam and other places outside our borders.

A Brief Entry to Honor My Godfather/Uncle

December 3, 2011, I learned of the passing of my "Tio MUNDO" His name was Raimundo Arroyo, but our family called him "Mundo" which can be the Spanish word for world. He was a world unto himself and I'm grateful to have known him and that he shared himself with his family. To many of us,Tio Mundo was a beloved uncle because he was kind, generous, funny, witty, thoughtful, forgiving and always a gentle quietness seemed to envelop him as he journeyed throughout his life. He was a great cook, gardener--a true farmer's son. He brought life to the world he inhabited. He lived in Tennessee so it was only when I traveled to conferences that I saw him in the past few years. However, I have good memories of the young handsome soldier who played with me upon his return to civilian life post World War II.

I love and honor him because despite his seemingly quiet personality came with a very strong character--this is not to be mistaken for foolhardy stubbornness that afflict so many of us.

My uncle was a good son, a great brother, a good husband, and father. Like many men who lived and fought in World War II, he represented the best of what Tom Brokaw labeled "The Greatest Generation." So in addition to his place in our family,my Uncle Ray, has a place in USAmerican history that unfortunately will go untold beyond the confines of his closer family.

Que Jesus, Maria, y Jose te entretengan en el cielo, my precios tio.

The Ravages of Insomnia

I did not go to bed until about 3 am. this morning. Before I did go to bed I went to my bathroom sink and saw a very tired old woman. I'm not really an old woman but I sure looked it earlier today. I have been reading too many interesting books and doing a great job of avoiding writing, which is something I ought to be doing.

So to avoid looking like another skinned chicken with yellow skin, I'll get out and find some herbal knock out teas. To ward off another night of being up with the ravens and vampires that roam the night. I am having fun with the vampire imagery for I'm more likely to kill them off than they harm me. :)

Living alone is what does this to me--I no longer have a tight schedule to adhere to and no meals I "must" fix for my children.

I will endeavor for the next few hours to do my work and then leave my apartment in search of some fun.

Wisdom from the Past and for the Future

When I was a young mother and I was rearing the three strong characters who are my children, I never realized that I was helping to push forth a lot of the wisdom of my family and Puerto Rican culture that in part nurtured me. I say in part, because unlike many of my cousins I was raised primarily in boarding schools. Still Puerto Rican culture stuck to me along with the religious who helped raise me. In all there is a hodgepodge of cultural and personal knowledge which influenced me and now my children.

What I can say now is that I lived my life in too much of a daze because like many women left to rear their children on their own, I had no clue as to what to do, when to do it, or even question whether or not I had the current views on child rearing available to me. As things stood, my children and I sort of survived the process. Two of the three are kind and understanding of the person I was and am. For this, I am grateful, for I can move on without the eternal mental double checking I had previously engaged in. What time wasting that rethinking everything from the past. Now I know--it's over. Let me move on.

I do want to find my middle child and give her two gifts. As a child she cut the hair off of her beloved Carol doll. In my younger days, I used nail polish remover to remove the "lipstick" of my baby doll. I guess my middlin child and I share a desire to perfect things we care about. This trait comes directly from my Mama.

Aside from doll issues, I find myself thinking that the future for our children is really up for grabs. The brand of capitalism I grew up with was kinder. Today everything is cut throat and bottom-line oriented. The idea that we are a country of citizens who should care about one another as brothers and sisters is an alien idea to too many. If we do not recover our sense of unity and stop fear mongering, our little bit of heaven which I call the USA will be destroyed.

I believe that the simplicity of living in my grandparents' time though without the comforts of running water, electricity, or gas forced people to work together and thus value what each person contributed to the enterprise of not only surviving but getting ahead. My grandparents built up their homes, farms, and contributed to their towns. In their time they were well loved and respected. I couldn't ask for more myself. So I keep their pictures on my night stand as silent reminders of where I come from and what is possible in my life even in this late stage of my life.

Insanity of Our Times

It seems Orwell's vision of a dystopia was right--up is down, good is evil men are not men but corporations are men. Poor people are poor because they're lazy; big corporations are needy, so the government must help them. Politicians hear things very well but pursue their cozy connections to large banks and corporate powers.

Hardly a day goes by when I see young people protest the imbalance that exists among the various sources of wealth. Unlike days in the past, humankind does not seem to be appreciated except those at the top who write laws for the Congress and continue with a drip down economic strategy.

I for one am tired along with others of the flim flam conducted by the Congress against the people whose country this is.

Now all the problems of the European Union is another excuse to make the markets go down, causing many who have retirement funds in their 401Ks to lose money. The worker bees are once again prevented from tasting the nectar collected for old age.